Sorrow

As I'm stressing with finals, packing and saying goodbye, I'm overcome with a sense of conflict. As an active part of my Calvin community I'm finding it hard to leave. On Friday I will say goodbye to my closest friends after busting my butt on a final and wrapping up my packing. I will leave a house I moved into only a couple months ago that rapidly became a home. I will have to hug my incredible housemates and best friends Hannah, Ashley, Luci and Katie for what will be the last time in upwards of nine months. I'll leave KG until we meet up to go on this insane adventure together. I'm torn between wanting to stay here and wanting to go adventuring in Ghana. The fear of missing out (FOMO) is a real thing. The thought of my friends living life without me here to watch is disheartening.

It's now, when I'm faced with goodbyes, that I realize how much life I have lived, how many people I've invested in and grown to cherish, and how important this all is to me. Leaving on Friday will be difficult, hopefully no tears are shed, but that probably won't be the case. I'm oddly thankful for the sorrow that the thought of leaving brings me. That sorrowful pit in my stomach means I love this place, it's people and the time I've spent and will spend here. 

Like the great A. A. Milne once said "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

To all my friends I won't be able to hug goodbye, I'll see you on the flip side. 

Ghana, I'll see you in 19 days...