Adoption: The good, the bad, the ugly

As many, if not all of you know, I’m adopted. There’s probably a whole series of questions running through your mind right now. To be honest, I’ve probably heard every possible question you could think of. I’ll answer some of the common questions:

1. Where were you adopted from? - I was born and raised in Indiana, so no, I’m not from an exotic country. 
2. Do you know your biological parents? - No, I don’t know my biological parents. My adoption is closed, therefore, no relationship exists between the child and the biological family. I have heard this question as “do you know your real parents?”...why yes, I do know my real parents. They raised me. My real parents are not the ones I share my flesh and blood with, but they are the ones that have raised, loved and cherished me. Shoutout to Bob and Jody 
3. Follow question: Do you want to know your biological parents? - No, to be honest, I don’t. There are plenty of adopted people who feel the need to know. I can say there have been and are times that I would love to put a name to a face and say hey, there’s the woman who gave birth to me. I know that if I chose to live while dwelling on the life that could have been I would miss everything that happens around me. I would be drowning in self-doubt, anxiety and depression. While I cherish the life that my biological parents chose to give me, they haven’t been a part of it so far and I don’t see room for them in the future. It took me several years to get to that point. I wanted to base my identity on the foundation of my parents but I had the wrong parents in mind. I thought that because I haven’t heard “wow, you have your mom’s nose” or “you’re a spitting image of your dad” I didn’t have a foundation for anything. For years, I dwelled on the fact that I didn’t know these people or specific things about myself. This isn’t the right mindset to have. Eventually, I came to my senses and chose to embrace those unknowns and incorporate them into my identity rather than making them my whole identity. Long story short, as of now, I would not try to contact or reach out to my biological family; however, if they were to contact me then I would gladly met them in the middle and established a relationship.
4. Are your siblings adopted too? - No, my brothers are biologically related to my parents. I’m the only adopted child. Woohoo! 

I was asked to participate in an activity for an orientation panel my junior year of college. I had to sum myself up in only five words. These words were to represent my identity and who I am as a person. my five were: 1. I’m a woman 2. I’m a family member 3. I’m adopted 4. I’m a humanitarian and 5. I’m bi-racial. Over the course of the activity I had to narrow the options down until I had one identity marker left. I crossed them off until I was left with “I’m adopted.” My adoption has made me who I am, and I generally enjoy what I have been, what I am and what I am becoming. I could talk your ear off when it comes to this. All of this to be an outspoken advocate for adoption! 

Please feel free to ask me questions in regards to this post or adoption in general!